Battle Plans

Planning: a scheme or method of acting, doing, proceeding, making, etc. developed in advance. Ex: Battle Plans

Battle plans that seems appropriate-thank you dictionary.com. I felt it necessary to seek out planning's definition as this word or action has become foreign to my vocabulary. My life is without plans or is it with hypothetical plans? I am not sure which.

I always knew I was one for living in the moment avoiding rigidity and structure, but never did I really think that would become actuality. So here I am living in a temporary home that expires March 31, deciding what I am going to do between the dates of April 1st-21st, April 22nd I move into temporary home number three till the 2nd week of June and after that who knows-in that time still so much more could change.

One of the following could evolve:
1. Receive a job in Los Angeles and can afford my own place, which I move into once Alek is back from Africa.
2. Move to D.C. for the summer or for full time pending on the offers I receive from potential employers-if I receive any at all-and live with Ashleigh
4. Invisible Children decides I am remarkable and hires me on as their Facility and Production Manager, which leads to me moving to Uganda
5. Take on another Part Time job to be able to actually live in a place where I pay rent and continue living in Santa Monica
6. Pack up the bags and head back to Texas

7.Live in San Diego with Ashleigh in her mom’s fiancé’s condo downtown while working 30hrs a wk then spending the rest developing our healthy fast food chain : )

8. A possibility that isn't even comprehensible

It all kinda blows my mind sometimes-especially when you realize my life-really all of ours-could change in one breadth. One inhale and one exhale. Though the amazingness and even more incomprehensible part is that I am not worried. With the powers-that are all the Lords-I know all will fall into place. Though, I may be able to only plan hours at a time or attempt to plan the coming week, there is peace. To be honest the first time I realized I couldn't really plan for the months to come, I had a slight panic attack and cry sessh with the mama, but since then it has been liberating. I see how I can only depend on the Lord knowing each day he will be there. He will provide. My job is to live. It is not to worry. It is not WORRY. Knowing that and believing that from toe to soul is freedom.

So with that freedom without that worry and with the love of the lord, I live. Here is what this living has been like for me the past couple weeks (there will be no death by blogging via Julie for me today!)

Sister Sizzle: Ashlyn came to Santa Monica for her Spring Break!! We played in Hollywood for our one snazzy night out, ate dinner at a small Spanish tapas place on main-delicious, drove to San Diego and stayed at Ashleigh's mama’s house, hot tubbed and ran at Torrey Pines, hiked up the Santa Monica Mountains, and strolled the beach. I had to work three hours everyday so Ash spent a lot time just roaming the beach. I think she got some good 'ole to herself thinkin time, so that was really good for her-somethin you def cant get in the dorms. She would never admit it but I know she really liked her introspective strolls. The week was quite relaxing and much less active and scandal creating than last time she came. whew. ; )

Can't say I didn't try and brainwash her into living with me for the summer though. That would be mind blowing to have Ash her with me all summer and I really think she would learn a lot about her self. The last thing (I believe) she needs to do is live in Garland and hang out with the same rascals she did last summer. The biggest roadblock in this is the mama. She really won't like the idea of both of her girls gone all summer....ok correction parentals already got in the way. *real time-just received text from the sis saying m and d did not agree with the plan and Ash really isn't a fighter so never mind doubt the sis will come* boo. Oh well that's her choice. She'll have to learn how badly she wants things and sometimes that what the parentals say or give permission to is good to know but you just gotta do what you truly believe is right for you.

Fair Trade Los Angeles: On Monday the day me and the sis got back from San Diego, I received a call from Kurt letting me know that Fair Trade (FT) LA was meeting to night at 7!! (Immediate excitement filled my head). As tired as we were, I made Ash throw on some fresh clothes and get back in the car. When we arrived we saw a group of about 10 people in varying ages from college to grandpa and grandma. It was fabulous! They welcomed the new peeps *me and ash* then begin their meeting with the focus on how to make Long Beach and Pasadena Fair Trade Towns and the website, which in my opinion mega sucks, but they have Kurt-comp whiz from usc-who is gonna fancy it up. I have lots of suggestive tweaks myself too, so FT coolness coming soon. Joan-the group leader-was very excited about me being there and the FT experience I have. No one in the group really plays on the retail side of the fair trade movement-woot specialty for me. At the end of the meeting Joan asked how I would liked to get involved??-bubbles with excitement-I said “with the community building process-through community educating with an emphasis on build FT LA's viral community”. Joan nodded in anticipating approval. Hopefully, I will be the one to establish FT LA's social media networks. I have been developing a plan all week. I am really excited about the network and community I have the potential of growing!!

Boards and Boys: The weather has been absolutely gorgeous here. With the sun out longer means more time to play, so Adam, Alek and I have gone skateboarding almost everyday. When we ride, I pretend we are some so cal skate gang weavin in and out of the crowds preparing to takeover Dogtown. Reality, we are just strollin down the 3^rd street promenade with me stragglin behind trying to stay on my board, but one day I shall ollie. These boys are my favorite. They take such good care of me. As for bandboy whom I mentioned last time, I have seen him a couple of times, usually him meeting us up while we are out after he gets down with a show. Though, Sunday her left for Australia ten days. Not sure if I will see him when he gets back. It is one of those things where we didn’t really hang out a lot before then there is this slightly long time of not speaking or seeing each other….so I don’t we will see, but all that aside it doesn’t really matter because I’ve already gotten something amazing out of our interaction. Interest!! This has been the first guy ever, since Blake who I can honestly say I was intrigued by or interested in…”liked” well not there yet…but I had the feeling of “hmmm wonder what could happen here”. Where before with every other guy whom I have interacted with both during college, after graduation and since California I have always knew they liked me much more and that I had fun with them but there was not a question, there was no mystery or intrigue because I already knew “I just wasn’t that into him”…hahaha. So turns out guys my heart does work (yay) and that there are guys out there who I enjoy talking to and enjoy kissing- very important. Thank you for this realization artsy fartsy bowtie bandboy.

Hello world my name is Sam and I am alive and I have a heart and it works and I am single and I am happy and I am on the verge of entrepreneurial conquest. Hi.

I can’t wait to see ya’ll girls again and Alicia’s wedding will be the most magical reunion, but please can we not make this a tradition. I just don’t think I can wait till another one of us gets married to see each other. I just have this hunch that would it would be much much much too long before we saw each other again. Unless…there is something someone is not blogging-AMY-*are you hiding a secret matrimonial lover affair from us?!?! That is what I will assume till you blog your lil heart out*

Love yall oh so much!! PS: yall should download dropbox, so we can share music. I got Athlete’s new album today and it is just magical.

Life in Sam's TOMS

And we all thought middle school was the awkward stage of life. Wrong. I believe it is between our ripe age of 22 and 24. People don't really tell you this because you are young and vibrant and the world is suppose to be at your feet, but that's whole lota matter to traverse for one new adult. Personally, I just seem to trip over, run into and loose all that is in my path. Not to stay that there isn't a sprinkle or down pour of fun and frills along the way, our earth has to survive, but the path is rough and mudslides always seem to come after the ran.

Learn learn learn. make mistakes. learn learn. forget an important lesson. crap. big learn learn again. Me at 22.

Ok so I am done with my metaphors, here's whats been going down:

Life-GOD-has revealed to me that actions have consequences and my heart has been dead bolted. Last Saturday was a very long day. After a night of mischief-bday celebrating-and boys-the good ole friend kind, I woke to find my car missing. Picture me in the rain slightly hungover and panicked because my car is definitely not where I left it. ugghhh. Least to say, I called the Santa Monica PD and found out they impounded it for blocking a drive way. I have no idea how I did that. So now I will be dropping $300 to get my car back hopefully today or tomorrow. This experience was exhausting, but revealing. I would say it is my first adult trouble I have had to handle by myself, but also not really by myself. I discovered I have friends, a community, in SM that have my back. That was a really great discovery.

Then after a day of emotional blah ( I was also dealing with Blake-ness again), I spent the night at Asheigh's apartment with her dog. Ash is out of town and her roommie was on a date. The night was actually perfect. I laid in bed, talked to and snuggled with her dog indie and watched movies. I dreamed about the future, played dress-up with her clothes and soaked in Sam. I haven't had a night like that in ages. I was by myself and it was OK. That night I recovered a piece of me. It is stunning how the lord can take my awkward life and make it beautiful; make it teaching.

Through everything with Blake and the mess I created with Justin, I know see the deadbolt, electrical gate and sniper team i strategically placed around my heart. No wonder boys leave me wounded. My organs are deadly. But the important part is, I see it and I want it down. I want to love and I want to let love in not strangle it when it comes close. I am excited and very very very scared of my feeling journey to come. It will take discipline and patience to not rush and blow through the journey. Rather, I hope to stroll and occasionally sprint through the grass and scale the mountains, but mainly stand still and watch the stars pass above my head.

Specifically to JOBS-I have freaking found my dream job. Please please please be praying and sending out the intreviewy vibes. The Job is with Invisible Children. I would be working with the MEND team in Uganda as the Facility and Production Manager. I would work with a small group of women in Uganda managing the production process-sourcing materials, maintain the equipment and production schedules. This is what I designed my major for. This is what I dreamt of doing while in college. *fingerscrossed* that the lord has this in my plan.

Boys, well there is one right now. I have attached a picture of him. I met him at the this trade show after party in SM. He is in the band Edward Sharpe and plays the trumpet and such. I do enjoy kissing him, which is surprising. Not sure what I think about him yet, but we've gone out once since the night I met him and I had fun. I'm suppose to see him tonight; I'll let you know how that goes. It's funny he is so different from me. When we went out he wanted to grab some food so I just suggested The Parlor not thinking anything about. When we walked in he was like "oh its a sports bar" Me: laughs-realizing I doubt he has ever been in one. He was a trooper though. I am doing good so far. I'm gonna try and take this one S L O W. My friend Alek gave me good advice "Sam you don't need to jump into anything. No need to rush." So that is what I am doing. No jumping, rather a light skip. I just don't think its in me to calmly walk. ; )


Meet band boy. His name is Stewart. He wears bowties, went to artsy school and likes to take pictures of delicious breakfasts. I like his crazy curly hair.