After I gave him the letter we talked later that day.
Results: He agreed to what I said, BUT I do not really trust him. I am not putting my faith in his words. Meaning: he agreed to not talk/text Cassie "the girl" and any other girl of that status, to talk to me, to open with me, etc.
Blake is not the most consistent or honest person in the world, so trusting him is not really in the picture right now. I will "trust" him in the sense of believe he is practicing the acts we discussed until proven otherwise because that is the only chance we have of even beginning the mending process, but I am not putting my whole heart into anything. He does not deserve that. I do not deserve that.
Presently: We are chill. I have madeout with him many a times since discussion. Probably not the best choice, but I still find him so darn attractive. Curse you nice lips. And I am in Austin right now with him and his family, so things are semi normal. Pretty much nothing has changed in the Blake and Sam category and nothing will till he goes to Houston (in 6 days). It was just easier that way. I am tired of hard.
The Plan:
Blake goes to Houston. Sam stops putting her life on hold for a boy. Ugghhhhhhhh never thought I would be this girl. I think it is time to get to know Sam. Figure out who this girl was before she met Blake and who she is now . That I am looking forward to. Least to say, I am tired of trying to figure everything out: blake, us, job, future, etc. I have learned I can't. Not my role in life Thank You Jesus.
SAM!!!!!
ReplyDeleteso good texting with you the other night! :) BAH, I MISS YOU!!!!
i think this sounds like a plan! it'll be good that he's comin to houston soon and you can really have some time to yourself/get a better picture of where his heart really is in all of this!
gosh i'm SOOO sorry this is all so hard...i wish it weren't. i wish i could be there to sit on my bed with ya and talk about all of this! :( oh i miss our talks.
BUT like you said...thank you Jesus! its out of our hands. the Lord WILL take care of us. for sure!!!! we're on the brink of something, just gotta be freaking patient, and TRUST!!! :)
i loooooooooooooove you!!! see you in two weeks?!?!? oh man, i hope, i hope!!!!
LOVE the plan! I think that'll be really great for you and hopefully give you a chance to enjoy the summer.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it didn't end up being as hard as you thought it was going to be. Hard sucks. You can only do it for so long.
I love you and I hope the plan comes into action meeting all your expectations for it!!