Alek's Office

-Started post on Monday-

Fighting the urge to dwell-that is dwell on the lack of preconceived non-movement in my life-I packed up and went to a little place on 2nd and Montana I like to call Alek’s Office. Here you can always find a French pressed coffee drinker, an ear to listen, a place to nap and a spot to bake. Today I chose baking and fresh pressed coffee mixed with tad bit of self loathing.

My friend Alek works from home and Darian, a former fellow unemployed liver, but now a newly hired remotely located worker, often set-up camp in Alek’s living room, while he attempts to work in his room. Its my new favorite to place to dream and distract. Its the best I can do if I can sit at Memorial Union Starbucks for three hours a day and stalk Ams and receive free Chais.

-Thursday-

Well the mental torture has subsided for now. Thank God. Pretty sure it was sweated out Tuesday night during yoga along with absolutely every other fluid in my body. Veetas aka Bear Grizles knows how to absolutely kill me. *Amy for some reason I feel you would really like him* He has a small studio that is packed with people. By the end your body is on fire, every limb is loose, and you are soaked in your own sweat and possibly your neighbors. I recommend sitting next to people you know. Going to yoga is my sanity saver for the week.

ok better jump of, I'll finish updating later. We just got a new order of Macbeth skate shoes and I gotta check 'em before boss gets in. oh I also took pics of the shop I'll post those later too.

Love yall

SAM

Partner in Crime

Say Hello to Mr. Wilson. This is my buddy. We spend our afternoons together lounging on my bed having lunch, napping, applying for jobs and contemplating my fair trade store.

He is a young vibrant stud who's current favorite hobby is trying to hump me, but I think we have finally come to an understanding.

LOVE Challenge:
1. FOOD-this lasted one week. haha. Its was a good but vegan is not for me, but my grocery shopping has become healthier but it was just too difficult to go out with friends and be vegan, It became more annoying than enjoyable.

2. SOUL-speaking to the lord more than I have in a very long time.

3. EARTH-driving a prius haha does that count and laying down plans for my fair trade store and research.

This has been an exciting struggle.

Speaking of my store, I will be talking to Christina Weaver soon. She is the brains behind the creation of Mustard Seed in CoMo and she is very excited about talking to me about everything that went into starting the store. Its getting exciting guys. I don't think I can ignore my passions anymore guys. !!!

Prays guys. I really would love for this process to start unrolling, I miss texas, I know what I love and am gettin ready to jump.

Also check out my temporary crib:
Perfect for Soul Searching.



Love you guys!!
Mr. Wilson loves you too

Finding Peace and Feeling

Finding peace and feeling for the first time in a long while

I will update y'all on my challenge but first Blake. We are no longer talking on the phone, which is such a freedom and for the first time in a very long long while I have come face to face with my feelings about him, life, dreams, etc

Below is an snipit of an email, I recently sent Blake and wanted to share it with y'all. Its where I am at. Its a struggle guys I sincerely missing him but I have found peace in letting my self feel that way but not having it become an obsession. I don't' know what life has in store for us, but for the first time I am willing to let life happen, let God figure that out. In the mean time, I am just gonna feel and let life happen.

Letting the universe have it...

1. You have my heart. You will forever be there and I mean that with the most sincerity.
2. I do believe presently not communicating is the right thing to do. It gives us (I know me for sure) time to think and feel without petty/selfish distractions/arguments.
3. I have learned a lot about me and relationships lately, the biggest is I don't like fighting and making small things a big deal, but I did that a lot with you and for that I am sincerely sorry.
4. You are (in all most present tenses) a great man.
5. Thank you for letting me be me. I know that has not been easy for you and it has hurt you in the past. But I also know that me being me is why you have loved me for so long and me losing that is one of scariest things to you. And you especially do not want to be the one to take that from me. I am extremely grateful for that Blake, so many men would have done all they could have to take that from a girl.
6. It is still my dream that one day me being me and you being you become us. I'm a stubborn optimistic dreamer, but you knew that. I haven't given up Blake.

I write this for you to read, not to begin some kind of dialogue. It brings me comfort knowing you have seen this. I am sure you will take this to heart. You are intentional and thoughtful, more than I ever gave you credit. If you choose to respond cool; if not just as cool.

Thank you Blake, for the time we had together, for the love we experienced, for life we learned about and continue to with each new day...

-Sam

Ok gotta go to work, but will provide love challenge update on the next post. I love you guys!!