Life in Sam's TOMS

And we all thought middle school was the awkward stage of life. Wrong. I believe it is between our ripe age of 22 and 24. People don't really tell you this because you are young and vibrant and the world is suppose to be at your feet, but that's whole lota matter to traverse for one new adult. Personally, I just seem to trip over, run into and loose all that is in my path. Not to stay that there isn't a sprinkle or down pour of fun and frills along the way, our earth has to survive, but the path is rough and mudslides always seem to come after the ran.

Learn learn learn. make mistakes. learn learn. forget an important lesson. crap. big learn learn again. Me at 22.

Ok so I am done with my metaphors, here's whats been going down:

Life-GOD-has revealed to me that actions have consequences and my heart has been dead bolted. Last Saturday was a very long day. After a night of mischief-bday celebrating-and boys-the good ole friend kind, I woke to find my car missing. Picture me in the rain slightly hungover and panicked because my car is definitely not where I left it. ugghhh. Least to say, I called the Santa Monica PD and found out they impounded it for blocking a drive way. I have no idea how I did that. So now I will be dropping $300 to get my car back hopefully today or tomorrow. This experience was exhausting, but revealing. I would say it is my first adult trouble I have had to handle by myself, but also not really by myself. I discovered I have friends, a community, in SM that have my back. That was a really great discovery.

Then after a day of emotional blah ( I was also dealing with Blake-ness again), I spent the night at Asheigh's apartment with her dog. Ash is out of town and her roommie was on a date. The night was actually perfect. I laid in bed, talked to and snuggled with her dog indie and watched movies. I dreamed about the future, played dress-up with her clothes and soaked in Sam. I haven't had a night like that in ages. I was by myself and it was OK. That night I recovered a piece of me. It is stunning how the lord can take my awkward life and make it beautiful; make it teaching.

Through everything with Blake and the mess I created with Justin, I know see the deadbolt, electrical gate and sniper team i strategically placed around my heart. No wonder boys leave me wounded. My organs are deadly. But the important part is, I see it and I want it down. I want to love and I want to let love in not strangle it when it comes close. I am excited and very very very scared of my feeling journey to come. It will take discipline and patience to not rush and blow through the journey. Rather, I hope to stroll and occasionally sprint through the grass and scale the mountains, but mainly stand still and watch the stars pass above my head.

Specifically to JOBS-I have freaking found my dream job. Please please please be praying and sending out the intreviewy vibes. The Job is with Invisible Children. I would be working with the MEND team in Uganda as the Facility and Production Manager. I would work with a small group of women in Uganda managing the production process-sourcing materials, maintain the equipment and production schedules. This is what I designed my major for. This is what I dreamt of doing while in college. *fingerscrossed* that the lord has this in my plan.

Boys, well there is one right now. I have attached a picture of him. I met him at the this trade show after party in SM. He is in the band Edward Sharpe and plays the trumpet and such. I do enjoy kissing him, which is surprising. Not sure what I think about him yet, but we've gone out once since the night I met him and I had fun. I'm suppose to see him tonight; I'll let you know how that goes. It's funny he is so different from me. When we went out he wanted to grab some food so I just suggested The Parlor not thinking anything about. When we walked in he was like "oh its a sports bar" Me: laughs-realizing I doubt he has ever been in one. He was a trooper though. I am doing good so far. I'm gonna try and take this one S L O W. My friend Alek gave me good advice "Sam you don't need to jump into anything. No need to rush." So that is what I am doing. No jumping, rather a light skip. I just don't think its in me to calmly walk. ; )


Meet band boy. His name is Stewart. He wears bowties, went to artsy school and likes to take pictures of delicious breakfasts. I like his crazy curly hair.